This post describes a “tool” that you can use in everyday life (and in meditation) to quickly bring mindfulness to stress reactivity and experience the freedom, peace and unconditional love that is already here, already what you are. The tool consists of 4 short steps we can apply right in the middle of the day, whenever we have a moment to ourselves. All 4 steps together take less than a minute. And they can be repeated as many times as you like.

R.O.A.M. Mindfulness Model

Recognize you're stressed
Open to awareness
Allow what's here to be here
Move forward with wisdom

Recognize you’re stressed

What to do in this step: Notice that stress is happening! Notice the experience of feeling off-balance or even overwhelmed - almost as if you were a scientist standing off to the side with a clipboard. Oh, there it is, my heart is racing, I feel fearful, maybe even a little panicky. That’s all you need to do in this hugely important step.

Why this is needed: It wakes you up from the story your internal narrator is telling. It interrupts the cycle of stress reactivity and brings more of your brain back online. Just take a few seconds for this.

Open to awareness

What to do in this step: Notice the part of you that knows you’re stressed but isn’t itself stressed. No deep searching required here — this is readily apparent. It’s so obvious it’s easy to discount: So what? Yeah, there’s a piece of me that’s watching this and doesn’t seem impacted — but meanwhile I’m feeling awful! Just pretend for now you trust this part of yourself that isn’t stressed. If your mind needs a little more “to do” at this point, literally ask yourself: What’s here now that knows I’m stressed, but isn’t stressed?

Why this is needed: The “you” that’s the reactive, stressed pattern isn’t very good at untangling itself. Luckily, that’s not all there is to you. Your awareness which has been quietly standing by has got your back. Just connect with it. This step can be as short as 10 seconds once you’ve got the hang of it; if you have more time, rest in awareness as long as you like.

Allow what’s here to be here

What to do in this step: Notice that awareness can embrace whatever is happening without arguing with it. Even if your internal narrator is perhaps still screaming I can’t stand this ! I’ve had enough! Awareness is your very own internal Zen master that’s unperturbed and always standing by. When you are “allowing what’s here to be here” you are acknowledging what’s already here, just as it is — not minimizing and not exaggerating.

Why this is needed: Well, you’ve probably already tried various other tactics to suppress, deny, run away from, act out, etc. It turns out allowing actually works*.

Move forward with wisdom

What to do in this step: Acting from awareness is way more likely to be effective than whatever your stressed-out reactive pattern would have come up with. Notice that the possibilities for action (including non-action) have suddenly multiplied.

Why this is needed: Even just taking one small step to integrate whatever insight you’ve gained from the previous steps is worthwhile. The goal isn’t to be apart from your life or even your unpleasant emotions. Each small step bringing this wisdom into your day will build greater trust in your own resourcefulness.

* Psychoneuroendocrinology Jan 2018 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29040891/